Thankful For Our Village

It's been awhile from my last post, and I never realized that it was that long.  When I first started this blog, my only intention were to have an outlet for my feelings as mother, a breather for being a wife and just to express what's in my mind, in other words, a shock absorber.  Not many of my friends knows about it neither a single family member, and that made me feel more relaxed in posting and no pressure at all.  But recently I received a comment for one of my post, asking me to email her.  My only reaction was "whoa, someone's actually reading my blog."

 I feel lucky to be messaged by a reader that with a lot of blog choices everywhere, she chose mine. There are 2 reasons why I was touched by her story, 1st - we are both mothers and 2nd both her and a very close person to me survived an illness that everyone is scared of - Big C. After exchanging few emails, she openly shares her story with me by letting me post her very own life's challenges and triumphs.  And I feel so blessed to be the reader this time.

Thankful for our Village
You have probably heard the saying, "It takes a village", as this is a saying that people throw around when you have a baby. It is also a saying I came to believe. On August 4th 2005 my daughter was born. There were no complications. Once my daughter came, our "village" surrounded us. We had my husband's family, my family and all of our friends coming to meet our little Lily. Things were going great and nothing could have prepared us for what we were about to be faced with.

Within a month of returning to work, things started to change. I was feeling breathless, extremely tired and I didn't have much in the way of energy. Of course, these are all things that are generally attributed to being a new mother, but I just felt like there was something else going on. I visited my doctor and after several tests, we found out what was wrong.  

On November 21st, 2005, I was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma. This is a cancer that is found in the lining of the lung, which is typically caused by exposure to asbestos. I was unknowingly exposed to asbestos as a child and 30 years later, I ended up with mesothelioma.

My first thought was what was going to happen to my baby. At that appointment, I was not given the best of news. I was told that if I did nothing, I was looking at 15 months left to live. I thought of my baby, my husband, together all alone and without me. I knew at that moment I had to do whatever I needed to in order to save my life. Since I was dealing with a very grim diagnosis of mesothelioma, I went for the most drastic treatment offered. This meant that on February 2nd, my husband and I flew to Boston for my treatment. I had an extrapleural pneumenectomy. My left lung was removed and I spent the following 18 days in hospital. Then there was another 2 months of recovery before I began chemotherapy and radiation. This all happened while learning the ropes of motherhood.

If we did not have our village surrounding us with prayers, love and support, we could not have done it. Our village was made up of all kinds of different people from various parts of our lives. Even those who we did not expect to support us came around when we needed them the most. Then there were some people who we thought would be there but they fled as soon as we tried turning to them. The funny thing about all this is that the cancer helped us to weed out those who are really a part of our village and those who are not.

My parents had Lily live with them while we stayed in Boston. They started as grandparents to Lily and then helped to raise her. Because of this, they had their own village step in to help them out. Many people helped with babysitting and in any other way possible. While we were in Boston, we made some new friends who were going through similar situation. This helped us get through each day.  

While seeking treatment, my little girl was learning to eat solid food, scoot and roll around. I missed these events. I was able to be somewhat included through the pictures of her milestones that were emailed to me. I would show off her pictures, all while trying not to cry. However, Lily was the reason I was there, fighting for my life. I knew she had wonderful caretakers and that she would bond deeply with them.

Now that we have a true understanding of just how fragile life can be, we make sure that we embrace every moment of it. My favorite quote is, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death."

Make sure that you are embracing all that life throws your direction. Cancer is a strange and funny thing. Even though there is a lot of bad that comes with it, there is a lot of good that comes with it as well. Believe it or not, I am thankful for what I have been through as I have learned so much.



Thank you Heather.  Wishing you happiness and the best of health:)

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